Thursday, November 13, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
It's been a while...
It's been a while since I last posted. My apologies, it has been an exhausting fall thus far. Anyway, before I get back to Max and Claire, I want to take a moment and thank Advanced Bionics for putting us on their website. You can find a link on our blog.
Originally, I had planned on explaining Max and Claire's implant turn on days in great detail. However, I think that I would rather catch everyone up to their current lives. I will say this. Both Max and Claire's turn on days were blessed occasions and their lives have been full and happy ever since. Their cochlear implants are truly a miracle. I will do my best to post a video of each turn on day as soon as I can figure out how to do such a thing. I'm not the most computer savvy person in the world.
Max's implant was turned on around five years ago in Atlanta, GA. He is now six. Even though he was born deaf, Max lives a wonderful life. He is in pre-first grade at David Lipscomb Elementary School in Nashville, TN. His talented teacher, Mrs. Seay says that Max is in the class's top reading group and that there is nothing keeping him from graduating at the top of his high school class! He enjoys playing soccer and baseball. Unfortunately, he also likes to watch cartoons and play on the computer. As most parents know, it's a tough balancing act to manage. He is an awesome kid. His speech is behind that of his peers, but he is quickly catching up with the help of my awesome wife Stephanie and the Auditory Verbal Therapy that he receives through Emily at Vanderbilt's Bill Wilkerson Center.
Claire will be three in January of 2009 and her implant was turned on when she was fifteen months old. I know that I should not compare their hearing journeys, but it is almost impossible for me not to do so. While Max passed most of his speech milestones quickly and with flying colors, Claire is a different child. She is a very smart little girl and completely capable of great achievements. However, she is definitely moving along a bit more slowly that Max. In my opinion, her slower progress is probably a combination of several circumstances. Number one, Claire is just different from Max. While Max was eager to please during his therapy sessions, Claire is without a doubt a stronger willed child. She can do what is asked of her, the problem is, she just does it when she wants to. We are also a busier family than when Max was born. We have two kids instead of one, Stephanie now works full time and we have done a poor job of avoiding the rat race. ( Have I mentioned how great Stephanie is? Not only is she a "looker", she is also a full time HR Manager and still finds time to teach Claire's therapy on a consistent basis. She also manages to take care of Max and me. Stephanie is awesome! ) The final reason that Claire is coming around a little more slowly ( in my opinion ) is that I assumed she would automatically be on par with Max in the speech process. This caused me to become lax in my help with Claire's sessions. I guess I just assumed that she would absorb her vocabulary from Max through some sort of weird osmosis. Don't get me wrong. Claire's implant is working great and she has become quite the little speech trooper. She is quickly learning her colors and numbers and seems to say something new just about every day. I think that she enjoys music as well. I caught her dancing to the tunes today at San Antonio Taco Company! She is Daddy's precious girl. We are debating a second implant to give her more sound, but that is another discussion for another day.
Like I said earlier, I'll try to post their "turn on" videos ASAP. Thanks for reading.
Originally, I had planned on explaining Max and Claire's implant turn on days in great detail. However, I think that I would rather catch everyone up to their current lives. I will say this. Both Max and Claire's turn on days were blessed occasions and their lives have been full and happy ever since. Their cochlear implants are truly a miracle. I will do my best to post a video of each turn on day as soon as I can figure out how to do such a thing. I'm not the most computer savvy person in the world.
Max's implant was turned on around five years ago in Atlanta, GA. He is now six. Even though he was born deaf, Max lives a wonderful life. He is in pre-first grade at David Lipscomb Elementary School in Nashville, TN. His talented teacher, Mrs. Seay says that Max is in the class's top reading group and that there is nothing keeping him from graduating at the top of his high school class! He enjoys playing soccer and baseball. Unfortunately, he also likes to watch cartoons and play on the computer. As most parents know, it's a tough balancing act to manage. He is an awesome kid. His speech is behind that of his peers, but he is quickly catching up with the help of my awesome wife Stephanie and the Auditory Verbal Therapy that he receives through Emily at Vanderbilt's Bill Wilkerson Center.
Claire will be three in January of 2009 and her implant was turned on when she was fifteen months old. I know that I should not compare their hearing journeys, but it is almost impossible for me not to do so. While Max passed most of his speech milestones quickly and with flying colors, Claire is a different child. She is a very smart little girl and completely capable of great achievements. However, she is definitely moving along a bit more slowly that Max. In my opinion, her slower progress is probably a combination of several circumstances. Number one, Claire is just different from Max. While Max was eager to please during his therapy sessions, Claire is without a doubt a stronger willed child. She can do what is asked of her, the problem is, she just does it when she wants to. We are also a busier family than when Max was born. We have two kids instead of one, Stephanie now works full time and we have done a poor job of avoiding the rat race. ( Have I mentioned how great Stephanie is? Not only is she a "looker", she is also a full time HR Manager and still finds time to teach Claire's therapy on a consistent basis. She also manages to take care of Max and me. Stephanie is awesome! ) The final reason that Claire is coming around a little more slowly ( in my opinion ) is that I assumed she would automatically be on par with Max in the speech process. This caused me to become lax in my help with Claire's sessions. I guess I just assumed that she would absorb her vocabulary from Max through some sort of weird osmosis. Don't get me wrong. Claire's implant is working great and she has become quite the little speech trooper. She is quickly learning her colors and numbers and seems to say something new just about every day. I think that she enjoys music as well. I caught her dancing to the tunes today at San Antonio Taco Company! She is Daddy's precious girl. We are debating a second implant to give her more sound, but that is another discussion for another day.
Like I said earlier, I'll try to post their "turn on" videos ASAP. Thanks for reading.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My Ear Is Magic !!
I feel the need to postpone Max's journey for one post and just take some time to brag on my son. I know that I am a little biased here, but Max is the bravest, strongest, most confident little boy that I have ever met. When another child asks Max "What's that thing on your head?", it is extremely hard for me not to step in and answer for him. Surprisingly, I have done a pretty good job with letting Max take up for himself.
I remember one Sunday at church when Max was lining up with the other kids for children's' worship, a very precocious little girl came up to Max and asked him, "What is that thing on you head?" Max very matter-of-factly turned to the little girl and said "It's my ear and it's magic! It helps me hear."
Max is so much stronger than I! I remember another time at Green Hills Mall when a boy that was old enough to know better came up to Max and asked him if he was retarded. I wanted to tell the boy that Max was probably smarter than him, certainly had better manners and that Max could probably knock a knot on his head if he pushed the issue. I also wanted to grab the boy's mom and dad and tell them that they were pitiful parents and that they needed to teach their son some social skills. Max however, always as cool as a cucumber, looked at they boy and calmly explained that "that thing" was his ear and it helped him to hear.
What an example Max is for me! Just this past Saturday at the Vanderbilt baseball clinic a boy that was Max's partner for a throwing drill called him "hearing aide guy". I don't think that he said it with malice, but it still bugged me. It didn't bug Max though. He paid close attention to his baseball instructor and quickly mastered the drill long before his curious partner.
I love my son Max. He is my constant example in patience, friendliness, and good will towards others. Every day I strive to be more like him!
I remember one Sunday at church when Max was lining up with the other kids for children's' worship, a very precocious little girl came up to Max and asked him, "What is that thing on you head?" Max very matter-of-factly turned to the little girl and said "It's my ear and it's magic! It helps me hear."
Max is so much stronger than I! I remember another time at Green Hills Mall when a boy that was old enough to know better came up to Max and asked him if he was retarded. I wanted to tell the boy that Max was probably smarter than him, certainly had better manners and that Max could probably knock a knot on his head if he pushed the issue. I also wanted to grab the boy's mom and dad and tell them that they were pitiful parents and that they needed to teach their son some social skills. Max however, always as cool as a cucumber, looked at they boy and calmly explained that "that thing" was his ear and it helped him to hear.
What an example Max is for me! Just this past Saturday at the Vanderbilt baseball clinic a boy that was Max's partner for a throwing drill called him "hearing aide guy". I don't think that he said it with malice, but it still bugged me. It didn't bug Max though. He paid close attention to his baseball instructor and quickly mastered the drill long before his curious partner.
I love my son Max. He is my constant example in patience, friendliness, and good will towards others. Every day I strive to be more like him!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Max's Implant Surgery
It's been a while. I've decided that I don't want to spend a lot of time on the months leading up to Max's surgery. I will however say this. Max was fitted with hearing aides and began attending the Auditory Verbal Center of Atlanta before he received his implant. I have no idea how much he could hear with the aides (if anything) and I don't know if they accomplished anything other than making me a nervous wreck with their continuous whistling. In retrospect however, I do know this. Getting an early start, working with Mary Anne at the AVCA was invaluable. Mary Anne got Max started off on the right foot and he hasn't looked back since.
Max remained ear infection free up until the day of his surgery. So on July 15th, 2003 we took 13 month old Max to Eggleston Childrens' Hospital and began his journey as a listening, speaking communicator. What a day! So much pain. So much joy. It's really difficult to describe.
Let's start with the pain. Handing Max over to the surgery nurse is the single most difficult task that I have ever performed in my entire life. I knew that Dr. Todd was one of the most respected pediatric surgeons in the world, but I did not want my baby to be put under for surgery. Period. Especially a surgery that was elective and seemed so invasive. I knew the facts about the low percentage of risk involved, but crap, this was my sweet baby boy and there was a risk! Anyway, Stephanie and I handed Max over, watched him leave with the nurse (I remember it vividly) and wept for the next ten minutes. I'm about to cry now just thinking about it. The surgery took around 3 1/2 to 4 hours, I can't remember exactly. Those were the most miserable hours of my life. No doubt. I was in serious mental pain and didn't want anybody, not even Stephanie to talk to me (a lot immature of me....I know). I did some serious pleading with God during those hours.
Now the joy! What do you know. God, Dr. Todd and my tough boy Max Dylan Hawkins all came through for me. I remember the sweet look on his swollen, bandaged face and head when they wheeled him in to the recovery room. He was breathing and looked like an angel. I remember even more clearly the look in his eyes when he awoke from the anesthesia. He was groggy for sure, but those were Max's wonderful eyes. They were full of wonder, comfort and love. He immediately smiled at all of his balloons, cards, Bert and Ernie and best of all, he smiled at his Mommy and Daddy. That was truly one of the most wonderful moments of my life thus far. In all honesty, it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. How many people get to embrace such a range of emotions in one day and end up with such a miraculous outcome. Max was truly on his way to hearing and speaking! He was on his way to hearing his Mommy and Daddy say, "I love you Max.", while Stephanie and I were on our way to hearing Max say, "I love you Mommy and Daddy." What a truly amazing day!
Max remained ear infection free up until the day of his surgery. So on July 15th, 2003 we took 13 month old Max to Eggleston Childrens' Hospital and began his journey as a listening, speaking communicator. What a day! So much pain. So much joy. It's really difficult to describe.
Let's start with the pain. Handing Max over to the surgery nurse is the single most difficult task that I have ever performed in my entire life. I knew that Dr. Todd was one of the most respected pediatric surgeons in the world, but I did not want my baby to be put under for surgery. Period. Especially a surgery that was elective and seemed so invasive. I knew the facts about the low percentage of risk involved, but crap, this was my sweet baby boy and there was a risk! Anyway, Stephanie and I handed Max over, watched him leave with the nurse (I remember it vividly) and wept for the next ten minutes. I'm about to cry now just thinking about it. The surgery took around 3 1/2 to 4 hours, I can't remember exactly. Those were the most miserable hours of my life. No doubt. I was in serious mental pain and didn't want anybody, not even Stephanie to talk to me (a lot immature of me....I know). I did some serious pleading with God during those hours.
Now the joy! What do you know. God, Dr. Todd and my tough boy Max Dylan Hawkins all came through for me. I remember the sweet look on his swollen, bandaged face and head when they wheeled him in to the recovery room. He was breathing and looked like an angel. I remember even more clearly the look in his eyes when he awoke from the anesthesia. He was groggy for sure, but those were Max's wonderful eyes. They were full of wonder, comfort and love. He immediately smiled at all of his balloons, cards, Bert and Ernie and best of all, he smiled at his Mommy and Daddy. That was truly one of the most wonderful moments of my life thus far. In all honesty, it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. How many people get to embrace such a range of emotions in one day and end up with such a miraculous outcome. Max was truly on his way to hearing and speaking! He was on his way to hearing his Mommy and Daddy say, "I love you Max.", while Stephanie and I were on our way to hearing Max say, "I love you Mommy and Daddy." What a truly amazing day!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Back to Max
Like I said a couple of posts ago, the news about Max's hearing cut me to the core. I have never been so devastated. Our family was however, blessed to be living in Atlanta when Max came in to the world. This was no coincidence and had to be providence. I am by no means an expert on the subject, but I do consider myself to be somewhat educated when it comes to hearing loss and cochlear implants. Believe me when I tell you this, there is no better place in the world than Atlanta, Georgia to deal with the news that your newly born child is deaf. Our initial audiologist, Edie Gibson (now with Advanced Bionics) was an angel. Max's post implant audiologist, Jolie Fainberg is second to none. Dr. Wendell Todd, Max's surgeon, is world renown and last but by no means least his Auditory Verbal therapist, MaryAnne Costin, stands heads and tails above her peers. (side-note....I know when my mom reads this, she is going to grimace at my punctuation, but I amexperiencing severe brain cramps. Sorry Mom!!!!)
Anyway, I tell you all of that in order to begin a transition in to the miracle of Max's current life. The time leading up to Max's surgery was tense. In order for the doctor to perform a cochlear implant surgery, the patient's ears must be free from fluid. Fluid is a sign of an ear infection and an ear infection mixed with ear surgery can lead to meningitis. This was a problem, because Max always seemed to have fluid in his ears. To solve this problem, Dr. Todd decided to put tubes in to Max's ears. So when he was around nine months old, Max got tubes in his ears. This seemed to help and kept Max infection free up until the time of his cochlear implant surgery.
Let me apologize. This post just isn't flowing and I really want to do a good job with the time leading up to and the day of Max's surgery. I will pick this back up when my head is a little more clear.
Thanks.
Anyway, I tell you all of that in order to begin a transition in to the miracle of Max's current life. The time leading up to Max's surgery was tense. In order for the doctor to perform a cochlear implant surgery, the patient's ears must be free from fluid. Fluid is a sign of an ear infection and an ear infection mixed with ear surgery can lead to meningitis. This was a problem, because Max always seemed to have fluid in his ears. To solve this problem, Dr. Todd decided to put tubes in to Max's ears. So when he was around nine months old, Max got tubes in his ears. This seemed to help and kept Max infection free up until the time of his cochlear implant surgery.
Let me apologize. This post just isn't flowing and I really want to do a good job with the time leading up to and the day of Max's surgery. I will pick this back up when my head is a little more clear.
Thanks.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Claire Bear Continued.....
Claire's hearing test, I remember it well. Even though it went unspoken between us, Stephanie and I were pretty nervous about Claire's test. I hadn't worried much about it throughout the pregnancy, but now that the time was finally here, it scared the crap out of me and I know that the fear had taken away a very tiny bit of joy from Claire's birth. The morning after Claire was born, the nurse came into our room and took her away for the hearing screening. We put on a brave face, but anyone that knew us well could tell what was on our mind.
A short time later, the audiologist on call came back with Claire's results. She had failed. I was numb and Stephanie was devastated. Both of us aged a couple of years in a couple of minutes. Knowing our family's background, the audiologist treated us with kid gloves. She implored us not to worry, citing the fact that Claire had fluid in her ears and that situation could easily have caused her to fail her screening. "Whatever." I thought. "I've heard that before." I knew in my heart that Claire was deaf. I wasn't devastated like I was with Max, but boy was I getting extremely tired of bad things happening to our family (and selfishly, bad things happening to me). The audiologist said that we could re-test the following day, after the fluid had time to drain from Claire's ears.
Stephanie prayed hard for a positive result. I prayed some, but I was pretty ticked at God and was beginning to think that He never listened to me anyway. The nurse came to get Claire the next day. I waited in the room for a few minutes. One of our friends came by and tried to comfort us while we were waiting for the results. I couldn't handle it and went to watch the test through the glass in the nursery. Not expecting anything positive, I was surprised to see the audiologist smile at me through the glass. She gave me the thumbs up! Claire had passed the test! I couldn't believe it. I sprinted back to the room and told Stephanie the wonderful news. Maybe all of our bad luck was behind us.
We happily took Claire home the next day. We were pretty relieved as you can imagine and we began our life with our second child. Life was pretty normal for the next few months. However, after Claire was around four or five months old, I started having doubts about her hearing. She was not babbling at all and she seemed to be a really heavy sleeper. I remember "parenting" one night when Stephanie was out with her friends. I think that Max was in bed and that Claire was asleep on the couch down stairs. The thought of Claire getting a false positive on her test was really starting to get to me, so I decided to conduct my own test. I turned my cell phone volume all the way up and placed the phone next to Claire's ear. It was a pretty pathetic sight. Anyway, I set off the ringer. Claire didn't budge. My fears began to grow, but I was not yet convinced. Stephanie and I would clap around Claire sometimes in order to get her attention. She seemed to respond to the claps most of the time. My fears were cemented when Claire was around ten months old. She was taking a nap in her crib upstairs when the smoke alarms went crazy and started to blear throughout the house. Claire didn't move a muscle. I knew she was deaf. Stephanie was not convinced. She recounted many stories to me about small children sleeping through smoke alarms. Evidently, it was some sort of phenomena.
We went through the next few months worrying and decided to have a conclusive test shortly after Christmas. We had to know the truth. At least the truth would help us move on and get some direction. We took Claire to the audiologist's office at Vanderbilt. She hooked Claire up to the machine and the test began. I could tell that it was not going well. With tears in her eyes, she gave us the bad news. Claire was deaf.
Like I said before, I promise that our story gets happier, so please hang in there. I'm really tired, so I'll try to pick this back up soon.
A short time later, the audiologist on call came back with Claire's results. She had failed. I was numb and Stephanie was devastated. Both of us aged a couple of years in a couple of minutes. Knowing our family's background, the audiologist treated us with kid gloves. She implored us not to worry, citing the fact that Claire had fluid in her ears and that situation could easily have caused her to fail her screening. "Whatever." I thought. "I've heard that before." I knew in my heart that Claire was deaf. I wasn't devastated like I was with Max, but boy was I getting extremely tired of bad things happening to our family (and selfishly, bad things happening to me). The audiologist said that we could re-test the following day, after the fluid had time to drain from Claire's ears.
Stephanie prayed hard for a positive result. I prayed some, but I was pretty ticked at God and was beginning to think that He never listened to me anyway. The nurse came to get Claire the next day. I waited in the room for a few minutes. One of our friends came by and tried to comfort us while we were waiting for the results. I couldn't handle it and went to watch the test through the glass in the nursery. Not expecting anything positive, I was surprised to see the audiologist smile at me through the glass. She gave me the thumbs up! Claire had passed the test! I couldn't believe it. I sprinted back to the room and told Stephanie the wonderful news. Maybe all of our bad luck was behind us.
We happily took Claire home the next day. We were pretty relieved as you can imagine and we began our life with our second child. Life was pretty normal for the next few months. However, after Claire was around four or five months old, I started having doubts about her hearing. She was not babbling at all and she seemed to be a really heavy sleeper. I remember "parenting" one night when Stephanie was out with her friends. I think that Max was in bed and that Claire was asleep on the couch down stairs. The thought of Claire getting a false positive on her test was really starting to get to me, so I decided to conduct my own test. I turned my cell phone volume all the way up and placed the phone next to Claire's ear. It was a pretty pathetic sight. Anyway, I set off the ringer. Claire didn't budge. My fears began to grow, but I was not yet convinced. Stephanie and I would clap around Claire sometimes in order to get her attention. She seemed to respond to the claps most of the time. My fears were cemented when Claire was around ten months old. She was taking a nap in her crib upstairs when the smoke alarms went crazy and started to blear throughout the house. Claire didn't move a muscle. I knew she was deaf. Stephanie was not convinced. She recounted many stories to me about small children sleeping through smoke alarms. Evidently, it was some sort of phenomena.
We went through the next few months worrying and decided to have a conclusive test shortly after Christmas. We had to know the truth. At least the truth would help us move on and get some direction. We took Claire to the audiologist's office at Vanderbilt. She hooked Claire up to the machine and the test began. I could tell that it was not going well. With tears in her eyes, she gave us the bad news. Claire was deaf.
Like I said before, I promise that our story gets happier, so please hang in there. I'm really tired, so I'll try to pick this back up soon.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Claire Bear
I'm kind of tired tonight, so I don't know how long or coherent this post will be. Here it goes anyway.
Claire Bear. Where do I begin? Claire Diane Hawkins is the apple of my eye. I know that most dads love their little girls, but I doubt that any dad could love their baby girl as much as I love mine! Just my opinion.
After Stephanie and I had Max, we were a little scared to have another child. We cherished Max of course, but we weren't sure if we wanted to take a chance on bringing another child with a disability in to the world. Before making the decision to have another baby, Stephanie and I decided to get some genetic testing done. We figured that if the geneticist found a recessive gene, we would not have another baby and just enjoy Max. We were living in Chattanooga at the time and were told that there was a great geneticist at Erlanger. The appointment was made, the tests were taken (ouch) and the results came in. No recessive gene was found. The geneticist told us however, that we still had an 8% chance of having another child with a hearing loss similar to Max's. We figured we could handle these odds and decided to go for it! Surely the odds would be with us and a second child would not have a hearing loss. Surely Max's hearing loss was caused by a stomach bug that Stephanie had during her first trimester.
Well, Stephanie became pregnant again during the summer of 2005 , much to my surprise. (just kidding) What a summer. We were in the process of moving back to Nashville and I was in the process of switching jobs. Have I told you guys that I am never satisfied? We somehow sold our house in Chattanooga and bought a new house in Brentwood. The move went fairly smoothly and our family was back in Nashville. This was something we had longed for over several years. We were happy, Stephanie was very pregnant and life was good.
Fast forward. Claire was born on January 10th, 2006 at Baptisit Hospital. The delivery went well, Stephanie and the baby were healthy and everything seemed well. Only one scary item loomed over the horizon, Claire's hearing test.
OK. I don't want to leave anyone "hangin'" as the kids say these days, but I am tired and I want to do a good job with this next part. I'll try to finish tomorrow night. Sorry.
God bless....
Claire Bear. Where do I begin? Claire Diane Hawkins is the apple of my eye. I know that most dads love their little girls, but I doubt that any dad could love their baby girl as much as I love mine! Just my opinion.
After Stephanie and I had Max, we were a little scared to have another child. We cherished Max of course, but we weren't sure if we wanted to take a chance on bringing another child with a disability in to the world. Before making the decision to have another baby, Stephanie and I decided to get some genetic testing done. We figured that if the geneticist found a recessive gene, we would not have another baby and just enjoy Max. We were living in Chattanooga at the time and were told that there was a great geneticist at Erlanger. The appointment was made, the tests were taken (ouch) and the results came in. No recessive gene was found. The geneticist told us however, that we still had an 8% chance of having another child with a hearing loss similar to Max's. We figured we could handle these odds and decided to go for it! Surely the odds would be with us and a second child would not have a hearing loss. Surely Max's hearing loss was caused by a stomach bug that Stephanie had during her first trimester.
Well, Stephanie became pregnant again during the summer of 2005 , much to my surprise. (just kidding) What a summer. We were in the process of moving back to Nashville and I was in the process of switching jobs. Have I told you guys that I am never satisfied? We somehow sold our house in Chattanooga and bought a new house in Brentwood. The move went fairly smoothly and our family was back in Nashville. This was something we had longed for over several years. We were happy, Stephanie was very pregnant and life was good.
Fast forward. Claire was born on January 10th, 2006 at Baptisit Hospital. The delivery went well, Stephanie and the baby were healthy and everything seemed well. Only one scary item loomed over the horizon, Claire's hearing test.
OK. I don't want to leave anyone "hangin'" as the kids say these days, but I am tired and I want to do a good job with this next part. I'll try to finish tomorrow night. Sorry.
God bless....
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Where were we?
Where were we? Oh yeah. I think that I had everyone depressed and that I was feeling sorry for myself. Well, let's continue Max's story and begin to brighten things up a little.
As my head was about to explode from the bomb that Stephanie had just dropped on me, she gave me a glimmer of hope in almost the same breath that sent me in to the darkness (that is just like her to be positive in a crappy situation). I think that I was babbling something about sign language when I actually started listening to what Stephanie was telling me. Edie our wonderful audiologist who worked in conjunction with Piedmont Hospital, quickly informed Stephanie about a miracle technology that could help the deaf hear. It was called a cochlear implant. "A cochlear implant?" I thought. "I've never heard of it. What in the world is it? Some kind of bionic ear?" Even with this new, somewhat positive thought in my head, I don't think that I calmed down much for a while. I told Stephanie to come straight home and that I wanted to see my baby. The time that passed while I was waiting for Stephanie and Max to get home is pretty vague to me. I remember all of the emotions that I mentioned in my earlier post, but nothing specific. Everything is just kind of a blur.
Anyway, Stephanie arrived a short time after our phone conversation. We cried together, hugged each other and held our newborn Max tightly. I know that Stephanie prayed for him, but I'm pretty sure that I was too mad at the time to do the same. Stephanie was obviously somewhat devastated, just as I was, but being the dad gummed optimist that she is, as soon as she regained her composure she began to tell me more about the cochlear implant. "Greg. They can put a computer chip inside his head! It has a wire that connects to his auditory nerve and allows him to hear! Edie said that the surgery is no more invasive than getting your tonsils out. She said that one of best pediatric ear nose and throat surgeons in the whole world works right here in Atlanta and that he could probably perform the surgery!"
God was beginning to work on my heart and to bless our lives through our precious son Max.
Stay tuned for more. I have to go to bed now. Max's sister, Claire hasn't let us sleep much the past few nights. See ya.
As my head was about to explode from the bomb that Stephanie had just dropped on me, she gave me a glimmer of hope in almost the same breath that sent me in to the darkness (that is just like her to be positive in a crappy situation). I think that I was babbling something about sign language when I actually started listening to what Stephanie was telling me. Edie our wonderful audiologist who worked in conjunction with Piedmont Hospital, quickly informed Stephanie about a miracle technology that could help the deaf hear. It was called a cochlear implant. "A cochlear implant?" I thought. "I've never heard of it. What in the world is it? Some kind of bionic ear?" Even with this new, somewhat positive thought in my head, I don't think that I calmed down much for a while. I told Stephanie to come straight home and that I wanted to see my baby. The time that passed while I was waiting for Stephanie and Max to get home is pretty vague to me. I remember all of the emotions that I mentioned in my earlier post, but nothing specific. Everything is just kind of a blur.
Anyway, Stephanie arrived a short time after our phone conversation. We cried together, hugged each other and held our newborn Max tightly. I know that Stephanie prayed for him, but I'm pretty sure that I was too mad at the time to do the same. Stephanie was obviously somewhat devastated, just as I was, but being the dad gummed optimist that she is, as soon as she regained her composure she began to tell me more about the cochlear implant. "Greg. They can put a computer chip inside his head! It has a wire that connects to his auditory nerve and allows him to hear! Edie said that the surgery is no more invasive than getting your tonsils out. She said that one of best pediatric ear nose and throat surgeons in the whole world works right here in Atlanta and that he could probably perform the surgery!"
God was beginning to work on my heart and to bless our lives through our precious son Max.
Stay tuned for more. I have to go to bed now. Max's sister, Claire hasn't let us sleep much the past few nights. See ya.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Max's Story....An Abbreviated Version
Max Dylan Hawkins was born on June 25th, 2002 at Piedmont Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia. It was a wonderful, perfect day. Max's delivery went quickly, relatively pain free (according to me) and without complication. Just a few hours after entering the hospital as nothing more than a semi-bald nervous father-to-be and a large (but beautiful), extremely pregnant mother-to-be, we were blessed with a healthy, handsome baby boy.
I remember the day like it was yesterday.... Stephanie's mother bouncing off the walls in the delivery room, feeling like I would drop the baby as the nurse almost tossed Max to me, the surprise in my grandfather's (Big Max) voice when we told him Max's name, the smiles on my parent's faces the first time that they laid eyes on the baby......Yes, it was a wonderful day.
The following days at the hospital went pretty much the same way they do for most new families. We slept a little, ate a lot and visited with more friends and family than I even new existed. We had one small hiccup, but didn't think much about it at the time. In Georgia, all newborn babies have their hearing tested. The nurse came in one morning and took Max back for his hearing test. Stephanie and I took this as nothing more than a time to catch a few quick winks, which we did. Shortly after leaving, the nurse returned with Max along with the audiologist who happened to be on call that day. She informed us that Max had not passed his hearing exam, but immediately put us at ease, explaining that many newborn babies fail their initial exam due to the fact that they have a great deal of fluid in their ears. She said that Stephanie could bring Max back in a few weeks after the fluid had time to clear and that most likely every thing would be fine.
Well, since really horrible things only happened to other people and since the audiologist seemed so confident that Max's failed hearing test was caused by fluid, I really didn't think anything else about it. We happily went home from the hospital, immediately kicked the dog's out of the house and attempted to acclimate ourselves to sleep in three hour intervals. Everything about our new arrival was as it should be. Max was proving to be the most wonderful blessing that Stephanie and I could ever imagine.
I don't remember a whole lot surrounding the days that led up to Max's audiology appointment. I do remember that Stephanie's brother and his dog spent the night with us for some reason. I also remember that I wasn't super happy with my job at the time and that I was supposed to take a placement test with a certain orange and white logoed, home improvement company the day after Max's appointment. Anyway, the day of the audiology appointment is still crystal clear in my brain. I was working from home that day, doing some paperwork and trying to schedule some sales calls in Eastern Tennessee for the rest of the week.
I remember Stephanie walking out the door with Max in his "bucket" and neither of us acting overly concerned about the upcoming exam. We new everything would be fine. What else should I have expected? We were God fearing, Church going people and nothing really horrible could ever happen to us. Well, I had experienced two other life altering phone calls in my life up until that point, both had lasting effects, but neither rocked my world like the one I was about to receive that fateful afternoon.
Hello?
Hey, It's Stephanie...(voice sounding a little distant)
Hey. How'd it go?
Well, Ive got some bad news.
(silence) Max failed his hearing exam.
What?
Max failed his hearing exam and it's conclusive. (voice faltering)
What does that mean? (throat tightening, panic rising)
Max is deaf....completely deaf.....(tears)
No!!!! Why!!!!! I don't understand!!!!! (panic, dizziness, anger with God, fear, hopelessness)
Stay tuned. Things get happier. I promise!
I remember the day like it was yesterday.... Stephanie's mother bouncing off the walls in the delivery room, feeling like I would drop the baby as the nurse almost tossed Max to me, the surprise in my grandfather's (Big Max) voice when we told him Max's name, the smiles on my parent's faces the first time that they laid eyes on the baby......Yes, it was a wonderful day.
The following days at the hospital went pretty much the same way they do for most new families. We slept a little, ate a lot and visited with more friends and family than I even new existed. We had one small hiccup, but didn't think much about it at the time. In Georgia, all newborn babies have their hearing tested. The nurse came in one morning and took Max back for his hearing test. Stephanie and I took this as nothing more than a time to catch a few quick winks, which we did. Shortly after leaving, the nurse returned with Max along with the audiologist who happened to be on call that day. She informed us that Max had not passed his hearing exam, but immediately put us at ease, explaining that many newborn babies fail their initial exam due to the fact that they have a great deal of fluid in their ears. She said that Stephanie could bring Max back in a few weeks after the fluid had time to clear and that most likely every thing would be fine.
Well, since really horrible things only happened to other people and since the audiologist seemed so confident that Max's failed hearing test was caused by fluid, I really didn't think anything else about it. We happily went home from the hospital, immediately kicked the dog's out of the house and attempted to acclimate ourselves to sleep in three hour intervals. Everything about our new arrival was as it should be. Max was proving to be the most wonderful blessing that Stephanie and I could ever imagine.
I don't remember a whole lot surrounding the days that led up to Max's audiology appointment. I do remember that Stephanie's brother and his dog spent the night with us for some reason. I also remember that I wasn't super happy with my job at the time and that I was supposed to take a placement test with a certain orange and white logoed, home improvement company the day after Max's appointment. Anyway, the day of the audiology appointment is still crystal clear in my brain. I was working from home that day, doing some paperwork and trying to schedule some sales calls in Eastern Tennessee for the rest of the week.
I remember Stephanie walking out the door with Max in his "bucket" and neither of us acting overly concerned about the upcoming exam. We new everything would be fine. What else should I have expected? We were God fearing, Church going people and nothing really horrible could ever happen to us. Well, I had experienced two other life altering phone calls in my life up until that point, both had lasting effects, but neither rocked my world like the one I was about to receive that fateful afternoon.
Hello?
Hey, It's Stephanie...(voice sounding a little distant)
Hey. How'd it go?
Well, Ive got some bad news.
(silence) Max failed his hearing exam.
What?
Max failed his hearing exam and it's conclusive. (voice faltering)
What does that mean? (throat tightening, panic rising)
Max is deaf....completely deaf.....(tears)
No!!!! Why!!!!! I don't understand!!!!! (panic, dizziness, anger with God, fear, hopelessness)
Stay tuned. Things get happier. I promise!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Hi Everyone !!!
I just got this blog set up today, so I guess you could say that it is "under construction".
Lately, I've really felt the need to share my family's story with the rest of the world. Stephanie and I have been blessed with two incredible kids that I think you need to know about!
I've started writing a book about Max and Claire, but the theme of the book is really more about my personal journey than a celebration of Max's and Claire's life. That is why I am starting this blog. I hope that it will inspire other families and children with special needs, while providing both laughter and tears.
Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it! Stay tuned.....
Lately, I've really felt the need to share my family's story with the rest of the world. Stephanie and I have been blessed with two incredible kids that I think you need to know about!
I've started writing a book about Max and Claire, but the theme of the book is really more about my personal journey than a celebration of Max's and Claire's life. That is why I am starting this blog. I hope that it will inspire other families and children with special needs, while providing both laughter and tears.
Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it! Stay tuned.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
