Another school year has come and gone. Crazy. I turned 38, Max will soon be 8 and Claire is now 4 (I won’t mention Steph’s age.). That looks really strange to me when I see it written down.
Anyway…. I though that I would take a minute and update everyone on our family. Let’s go youngest to oldest.
Claire – Oh Claire. Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire Claire. This girl is something else. She has really humbled me as a parent. I love her more than words can express, but she is going through some serious “stinker” issues right now. I’m almost positive that some of these behavioral issues stem from hearing loss and her frustration with communicating, but that’s not all of it. We were at Blackstone after the Country Music ½ Marathon a few weeks ago, waiting for our food, and what did I see? I saw a spitball flying at my head! I looked at Max. Nope. I looked at Stephanie. Nope. I looked at Claire. Yes! Claire was the assailant. Where in the heck did a 4 year old learn to shoot spit wads from a straw? One night this week, I was trying to get Claire in bed and she was not cooperating. At some point during my effort to get her in bed, she became very angry with me. Unfortunately she had a glass of water in her hand. What did she do with the water? She threw it right at me. Drenched me. Have you ever had the urge to laugh when you were furious? I did. Claire also likes to put me in “time out” and give me the old stick out your tongue/spitting routine. Oh. She also likes to pick Bruno the dog up by his hind legs and carry him around. Fun for Bruno. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade Claire in for any other little girl in the whole world. I don’t know what I would do without her. I just don’t know what to do with her either!
PS – I forgot to mention that she placed all of her loose change in the disc slot on the Wii. Yep. $85 repair…
I continue to be concerned about her expressive language and social skills. She attends a wonderful auditory oral school (as you probably know). I’m just at a loss on what else to do, short of hiring a full time Auditory Verbal therapist to live at our house. Man. That would be nice!
Max – I read an interesting quote this morning. “Show me a kid involved in too many extra curricular activities, and I will show you a miserable parent.” I hope that I am not stepping in to this trap with Max. I love coaching his baseball team and our tournament begins this weekend. (Max is playing great by the way.) I also just signed him up for Mixed Martial Arts School at Elite Martial Arts in Brentwood. He is signed up for two soccer camps and a baseball camp this summer as well. I know that sounds like a lot, but I refuse to let him sit around the house and play video games all summer. The camps are spread out and Martial Arts does not start until we finish baseball. Am I crazy? Nah. As long as it is one sport at a time, I think we are OK.
As I mentioned in my last blog, Max is doing well in school and will graduate to second grade this fall. I pray that the Lord provides Max with a wonderful second grade teacher. He has blessed Max so far in that aspect. I’m still waiting for a sign on Max’s second implant. I received some good input from one of our family friends, but I don’t know if that is my sign. The input was appreciated none the less. I know the second implant would help Max. I just can’t get over the idea of putting my beautiful, happy, robust, loving baby boy (almost 8) under the knife again. I get teared up just thinking about it. Sorry. I know I whine about this all the time.
Steph – Perfection :) - Just kidding. She is well, but I don’t like to speak for her.
Me – I’m struggling a bit right now to be honest. Being a good father, husband, employee and disciple all at the same time is not happening at the moment. I’ll keep plugging away though. I’ve got too great of a family and am blessed way too much to stay bogged down for long.
On a positive note, I am exercising again. I am training for the Riverbend 10K in Chattanooga on June 19th and will eventually train for the Healdsburg Wine Country ½ Marathon on Halloween. Accomplishing these goals is imperative for my self esteem. Please pray that I stay injury free.
I’m also enjoying a couple of good sermon series via the internet. Fellowship Bible Church in Brentwood, TN has a good one going on Genesis and Christ Community Church in Franklin, TN has a good one going on the book of Daniel. Check them out. If you are like me, a good teacher can truly enhance your understanding of the Bible.
Check out our Mentor page on the Advanced Bionics web site if you have any cochlear implant questions.
Out.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Max
I just wanted to take a minute to share my thoughts on Max. Steph and I are currently trying to decide whether or not Max needs a second implant. He is doing really well in school, but I see his hearing struggles on a daily basis. It is almost impossible for him to hear in a noisy situation, such as the lunchroom at school, or in the car with the windows rolled down. Is it worth the low percentage risk of surgery to get him the second implant? Will he be happy that we did this for him in the long run, or will he be mad that he has to deal with the extra hardware? I wish that I could snap my fingers and presto chango, Max instantly has a second implant. Unfortunately, life just doesn't work that way, especially in the Hawkins household. I don't know what we'll do. Max's surgeon is so confident and seems to have Max's best interests at heart (he has a disabled child as well). I don't know. I just don't know. I asked God for an obvious sign for me to say yes or no, but I haven't seen it yet. Maybe I haven't prayed hard enough. I don't know.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sounds From The Hockey Playoffs
Obviously I wish Max and Claire had been born with normal hearing, but there are times when I am “happy” that my kids were born with a hearing loss. Here are a few of those times. I hope you enjoy them!
1.Sitting in the nosebleed seats at Nashville Predators games, particularly after the Preds score a goal. “Na na, na na na na na na, Hey! You s*ck! We’re gonna beat the h*ll out of you! You! You! You! You!” This is the cheer that the fans yell at the opposing team after we score a goal. So far, I have been able to edit “h*ll” to “stew” and I don’t think that Max has picked up on the word “s*ck”!
2.Any time that Daddy loses his temper. Even though I try to catch myself, I know that I’ve let a few explicative fly in front of Max and Claire (mainly in Nashville traffic). I’m pretty sure that the kids have not deciphered any of these choice words or phrases.
3.Whenever anyone in my family is discussing politics these days. We are not big fans of the current administration, but I don’t want to show disrespect for the President in front of my kids. Hearing loss has edited some comments or conversations when I have been unable or unwilling to do so, on my own!
4.On the occasion that Stephanie and I get in to an argument after Max and Claire have gone to bed. Waking up to the sound of your parents yelling at each other can’t be a good thing. Not that Steph and I would ever raise our voices to one another!
5.Any time that I want to watch a movie or sports after bed time. When the kids take their Bionic Ears off, I can turn the movie up or yell as loud as I want to and not suffer the consequences!
6.In the future, when Max and Claire go to college. I can’t count the number of times when I wished that I could not hear in the dorm or in my apartment. How many more hours of sleep could I have gotten if I had only been able to “turn off my ear”!
Hopefully you know me well enough to realize that I am being sarcastic. There are no times when I am truly happy that my kids were born without natural hearing. Thankfully however, they are doing well enough with their cochlear implants, that I can find the humor or practicality of hearing loss in certain situations. I hope that you are able to do the same with your specific situation!
1.Sitting in the nosebleed seats at Nashville Predators games, particularly after the Preds score a goal. “Na na, na na na na na na, Hey! You s*ck! We’re gonna beat the h*ll out of you! You! You! You! You!” This is the cheer that the fans yell at the opposing team after we score a goal. So far, I have been able to edit “h*ll” to “stew” and I don’t think that Max has picked up on the word “s*ck”!
2.Any time that Daddy loses his temper. Even though I try to catch myself, I know that I’ve let a few explicative fly in front of Max and Claire (mainly in Nashville traffic). I’m pretty sure that the kids have not deciphered any of these choice words or phrases.
3.Whenever anyone in my family is discussing politics these days. We are not big fans of the current administration, but I don’t want to show disrespect for the President in front of my kids. Hearing loss has edited some comments or conversations when I have been unable or unwilling to do so, on my own!
4.On the occasion that Stephanie and I get in to an argument after Max and Claire have gone to bed. Waking up to the sound of your parents yelling at each other can’t be a good thing. Not that Steph and I would ever raise our voices to one another!
5.Any time that I want to watch a movie or sports after bed time. When the kids take their Bionic Ears off, I can turn the movie up or yell as loud as I want to and not suffer the consequences!
6.In the future, when Max and Claire go to college. I can’t count the number of times when I wished that I could not hear in the dorm or in my apartment. How many more hours of sleep could I have gotten if I had only been able to “turn off my ear”!
Hopefully you know me well enough to realize that I am being sarcastic. There are no times when I am truly happy that my kids were born without natural hearing. Thankfully however, they are doing well enough with their cochlear implants, that I can find the humor or practicality of hearing loss in certain situations. I hope that you are able to do the same with your specific situation!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Is Bob Dylan a President?
So I am wearing a Bob Dylan t-shirt this evening. It has a head shot of him placed in the middle of a hot air balloon. Bob’s name is written underneath. Max saw it after I put it on and immediately asked me if the picture was that of a President named Bob. I wish!
Anyway, I just thought that I would give everyone a heads up on what has been going on with the Hawkins family lately. Spring baseball started recently for Max. He is playing machine pitch ball this year and we actually play with rules! I can’t wait. I was so tired of coaching baby baseball. It will be good for the kids to see that everyone can’t win all of the time and that you can’t stay on base even if you make an out. That kind of coddling drives me insane. Unfortunately, we have only been able to complete one practice because of the rain. Why do we play baseball in the early spring? It rains every other day! Max continues to do well in school. He recently made the Principal’s “favorite” list for a 100 on his spelling test and exhibiting outstanding handwriting. He did not get the handwriting skills from me! I think that Max may also be developing an interest in hockey. He loves the Pred’s and we went skating on Saturday. Unfortunately, he must complete a skating class in order to play in a league. I just don’t know when we will have time. I also don’t know how he could wear the hockey helmet. I don’t think that I could cut a space out for his “ear” like I did with his baseball helmet, so he would have to play with no hearing. I don’t know if that would be a character building experience or just frustrating.
Claire continues to be the apple of my eye. I don’t know if my heart is big enough to contain all of the love that I have for that girl! She is a pistol, but that makes her even dearer to me. I love that big girl. She is doing well in school and her talking continues to improve bit by bit. I am worried about her being ready for mainstreamed kindergarten, but I think that she will make it. Claire is so smart. She just seems not to put out the same efforts to please that Max did. I guess part of that is just her personality (knothead). I know that God has big plans for her. He just isn’t working on my schedule. I’ll learn to be patient one of these days. On a side note, I don’t mean to write less about Claire. Max is just in a life stage where I tend to live through him vicariously. I know that’s probably not a great thing, but hey. I’m just a dumb dad!
I am so blessed. I love my kids and I love my wife. Things don’t always go my way, but my family always picks me up when I am down. Pray for us. We’ll take all of the blessings that we can get. See ya!
Anyway, I just thought that I would give everyone a heads up on what has been going on with the Hawkins family lately. Spring baseball started recently for Max. He is playing machine pitch ball this year and we actually play with rules! I can’t wait. I was so tired of coaching baby baseball. It will be good for the kids to see that everyone can’t win all of the time and that you can’t stay on base even if you make an out. That kind of coddling drives me insane. Unfortunately, we have only been able to complete one practice because of the rain. Why do we play baseball in the early spring? It rains every other day! Max continues to do well in school. He recently made the Principal’s “favorite” list for a 100 on his spelling test and exhibiting outstanding handwriting. He did not get the handwriting skills from me! I think that Max may also be developing an interest in hockey. He loves the Pred’s and we went skating on Saturday. Unfortunately, he must complete a skating class in order to play in a league. I just don’t know when we will have time. I also don’t know how he could wear the hockey helmet. I don’t think that I could cut a space out for his “ear” like I did with his baseball helmet, so he would have to play with no hearing. I don’t know if that would be a character building experience or just frustrating.
Claire continues to be the apple of my eye. I don’t know if my heart is big enough to contain all of the love that I have for that girl! She is a pistol, but that makes her even dearer to me. I love that big girl. She is doing well in school and her talking continues to improve bit by bit. I am worried about her being ready for mainstreamed kindergarten, but I think that she will make it. Claire is so smart. She just seems not to put out the same efforts to please that Max did. I guess part of that is just her personality (knothead). I know that God has big plans for her. He just isn’t working on my schedule. I’ll learn to be patient one of these days. On a side note, I don’t mean to write less about Claire. Max is just in a life stage where I tend to live through him vicariously. I know that’s probably not a great thing, but hey. I’m just a dumb dad!
I am so blessed. I love my kids and I love my wife. Things don’t always go my way, but my family always picks me up when I am down. Pray for us. We’ll take all of the blessings that we can get. See ya!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Lamentations....
I watched a video that one of my friends posted on Facebook yesterday. The video showed his eight year old son giving his testimony about accepting Jesus Christ in to his life and his subsequent baptism. Watching the experience brought tears to my eyes, for a couple of reasons. The first reason is because the video depicted a very touching moment in the life of that family. The second reason had a more selfish connotation. The second reason was that I was jealous that my children were born without their hearing. Listening to the young man articulate his feelings about Christ caused me to feel pain for Max and Claire. I know that they have wonderful thoughts and feeling swimming around in their heads, but many times they have trouble sharing and articulating these feelings, ideas or thoughts. How frustrating this must be for them!
Yes, Max is doing well in mainstreamed school, but how much better would he be doing if he was born with the gift of normal hearing? How much more would he enjoy talking to his friends? How many more friends would he have? How much deeper would our conversations be? Would his 80’s and 90’s on his test scores be 95’s and 100’s?
The same feelings hold true for Claire. She is coming along with her speech, but she is so far behind her peers and even where Max was at her age. There is so much going on in that beautiful little head of hers and I just want her to be allowed to let it all out! I know that her social skills will continue to improve, but the process is so tedious and frustrating.
I usually don’t let myself get bogged down with the “what ifs” of life, but sometimes I just can’t help it. Often times, something just touches me and releases these feelings of frustration, pain and even resentment. I wonder why my children have to struggle with the burden of hearing loss. Life is hard enough without added handicaps. It is during these times that I must remind myself that God has a wonderful plan for them. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Yes, Max is doing well in mainstreamed school, but how much better would he be doing if he was born with the gift of normal hearing? How much more would he enjoy talking to his friends? How many more friends would he have? How much deeper would our conversations be? Would his 80’s and 90’s on his test scores be 95’s and 100’s?
The same feelings hold true for Claire. She is coming along with her speech, but she is so far behind her peers and even where Max was at her age. There is so much going on in that beautiful little head of hers and I just want her to be allowed to let it all out! I know that her social skills will continue to improve, but the process is so tedious and frustrating.
I usually don’t let myself get bogged down with the “what ifs” of life, but sometimes I just can’t help it. Often times, something just touches me and releases these feelings of frustration, pain and even resentment. I wonder why my children have to struggle with the burden of hearing loss. Life is hard enough without added handicaps. It is during these times that I must remind myself that God has a wonderful plan for them. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Blizzard 2010 !!!!!
Well, I haven’t seen this much snow in Nashville since the mid-nineties! We usually get a couple of dustings every year, but a 6” snow is a pretty rare event. People from up north will probably laugh, but school was shut down on Friday and I closed up the warehouse around 10am. You guys just don’t understand. People in the south “freak out” when it snows. I’m guessing that it would have taken me over an hour to get home if I had worked all day ( 7 mile drive ). My dad, who lives in Chattanooga, said that it took him over three hours to get home from work on Friday! That was probably about an eight or nine mile drive.
We had a big time when we woke up on Saturday. I got my snow gear out and set forth on a little adventure to check out the roads. They were pretty dicey, but my little all wheel drive Subaru was a champ. I could barely make it slide even when I tried to do it on purpose. I came back home, picked up the kids and the wife and headed for the sledding slopes of Crockett Park. I bet there were fifty or sixty people sledding when we arrived. Everyone was having a blast. A few people even had some snow ramps built for sled jumping!
After a while, we decided that Crockett Park was too tame, so we headed for the hill at Edmonson Elementary School. Now this is a pretty steep hill. Luckily, there is a little ditch at the bottom which slows you down before you hit the road. The first few rides were great. They were super fast and super smooth. Unfortunately, my luck did not last. Claire and I decided to take a run together. A few seconds after we got started, our disk turned around backwards. This would have been fine, but I did not see the dip that was quickly approaching. We hit the dip doing about 100 mph and were thrown in to a serious back flip. I did not land on Claire, but I did land on my face. It was pretty embarrassing to arrive back at the top of the hill spitting out blood from a busted lip! Claire was a little shaken up and chose to sit out the rest of the runs. Max was a machine. He could have sledded for several more hours.
A quick aside….We dropped out AB “ears” in the snow several times and they are still working fine!
Anyway, we had a great weekend. We had a blast in the snow, Kentucky creamed Vanderbilt, the Predators thrashed the Thrashers and Chris Smith delivered a great sermon at Harpeth Hills. On to work tomorrow. Here’s to praying for a good week!
See ya! Greg
We had a big time when we woke up on Saturday. I got my snow gear out and set forth on a little adventure to check out the roads. They were pretty dicey, but my little all wheel drive Subaru was a champ. I could barely make it slide even when I tried to do it on purpose. I came back home, picked up the kids and the wife and headed for the sledding slopes of Crockett Park. I bet there were fifty or sixty people sledding when we arrived. Everyone was having a blast. A few people even had some snow ramps built for sled jumping!
After a while, we decided that Crockett Park was too tame, so we headed for the hill at Edmonson Elementary School. Now this is a pretty steep hill. Luckily, there is a little ditch at the bottom which slows you down before you hit the road. The first few rides were great. They were super fast and super smooth. Unfortunately, my luck did not last. Claire and I decided to take a run together. A few seconds after we got started, our disk turned around backwards. This would have been fine, but I did not see the dip that was quickly approaching. We hit the dip doing about 100 mph and were thrown in to a serious back flip. I did not land on Claire, but I did land on my face. It was pretty embarrassing to arrive back at the top of the hill spitting out blood from a busted lip! Claire was a little shaken up and chose to sit out the rest of the runs. Max was a machine. He could have sledded for several more hours.
A quick aside….We dropped out AB “ears” in the snow several times and they are still working fine!
Anyway, we had a great weekend. We had a blast in the snow, Kentucky creamed Vanderbilt, the Predators thrashed the Thrashers and Chris Smith delivered a great sermon at Harpeth Hills. On to work tomorrow. Here’s to praying for a good week!
See ya! Greg
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