My Ear Is Magic !!

I feel the need to postpone Max's journey for one post and just take some time to brag on my son. I know that I am a little biased here, but Max is the bravest, strongest, most confident little boy that I have ever met. When another child asks Max "What's that thing on your head?", it is extremely hard for me not to step in and answer for him. Surprisingly, I have done a pretty good job with letting Max take up for himself.

I remember one Sunday at church when Max was lining up with the other kids for children's' worship, a very precocious little girl came up to Max and asked him, "What is that thing on you head?" Max very matter-of-factly turned to the little girl and said "It's my ear and it's magic! It helps me hear."

Max is so much stronger than I! I remember another time at Green Hills Mall when a boy that was old enough to know better came up to Max and asked him if he was retarded. I wanted to tell the boy that Max was probably smarter than him, certainly had better manners and that Max could probably knock a knot on his head if he pushed the issue. I also wanted to grab the boy's mom and dad and tell them that they were pitiful parents and that they needed to teach their son some social skills. Max however, always as cool as a cucumber, looked at they boy and calmly explained that "that thing" was his ear and it helped him to hear.

What an example Max is for me! Just this past Saturday at the Vanderbilt baseball clinic a boy that was Max's partner for a throwing drill called him "hearing aide guy". I don't think that he said it with malice, but it still bugged me. It didn't bug Max though. He paid close attention to his baseball instructor and quickly mastered the drill long before his curious partner.

I love my son Max. He is my constant example in patience, friendliness, and good will towards others. Every day I strive to be more like him!

Max's Implant Surgery

It's been a while. I've decided that I don't want to spend a lot of time on the months leading up to Max's surgery. I will however say this. Max was fitted with hearing aides and began attending the Auditory Verbal Center of Atlanta before he received his implant. I have no idea how much he could hear with the aides (if anything) and I don't know if they accomplished anything other than making me a nervous wreck with their continuous whistling. In retrospect however, I do know this. Getting an early start, working with Mary Anne at the AVCA was invaluable. Mary Anne got Max started off on the right foot and he hasn't looked back since.

Max remained ear infection free up until the day of his surgery. So on July 15th, 2003 we took 13 month old Max to Eggleston Childrens' Hospital and began his journey as a listening, speaking communicator. What a day! So much pain. So much joy. It's really difficult to describe.

Let's start with the pain. Handing Max over to the surgery nurse is the single most difficult task that I have ever performed in my entire life. I knew that Dr. Todd was one of the most respected pediatric surgeons in the world, but I did not want my baby to be put under for surgery. Period. Especially a surgery that was elective and seemed so invasive. I knew the facts about the low percentage of risk involved, but crap, this was my sweet baby boy and there was a risk! Anyway, Stephanie and I handed Max over, watched him leave with the nurse (I remember it vividly) and wept for the next ten minutes. I'm about to cry now just thinking about it. The surgery took around 3 1/2 to 4 hours, I can't remember exactly. Those were the most miserable hours of my life. No doubt. I was in serious mental pain and didn't want anybody, not even Stephanie to talk to me (a lot immature of me....I know). I did some serious pleading with God during those hours.

Now the joy! What do you know. God, Dr. Todd and my tough boy Max Dylan Hawkins all came through for me. I remember the sweet look on his swollen, bandaged face and head when they wheeled him in to the recovery room. He was breathing and looked like an angel. I remember even more clearly the look in his eyes when he awoke from the anesthesia. He was groggy for sure, but those were Max's wonderful eyes. They were full of wonder, comfort and love. He immediately smiled at all of his balloons, cards, Bert and Ernie and best of all, he smiled at his Mommy and Daddy. That was truly one of the most wonderful moments of my life thus far. In all honesty, it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. How many people get to embrace such a range of emotions in one day and end up with such a miraculous outcome. Max was truly on his way to hearing and speaking! He was on his way to hearing his Mommy and Daddy say, "I love you Max.", while Stephanie and I were on our way to hearing Max say, "I love you Mommy and Daddy." What a truly amazing day!